Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Battle for the Cowl: Warehouse Meeting with Bat Hound

The following took place at 3:00 AM Wednesday morning.
note: It helps if you read Bat Hound's parts in the gravelly Batman voice.

Chunky B- Hey Bat Hound, why the hush, hush meeting in this old warehouse.

Bat Hound- I have been tracking the movements of this Reis. He's a pretty shady character, thought you should see for yourself.

Chunky B- What are you talking about?
Bat Hound- Take a look...

Bat Hound- I did some digging and found a bone, then I dug some more and tracked a network that runs so deep in the toy industry it makes the mob look like pre-schoolers.
Chunky B- You mean he's smuggling illegal stuff?
Bat Hound- Oh he's not bringing in the usual knock offs and bootlegs, he brining in something worse... the "home brew"....
Chunky B- How deep does it go?
Bat Hound- It runs from the sweat shop to the officials that you elect to protect you from this sort of thing.
Chunky B- I don't understand... how is he doing it?

Bat Hound- Reis is having the components gathered through a network of scalpers and speculators, bored with their usual eBay heists, looking to make a quick buck. They scour the flee markets, thrift stores and garage sales for anything that has at least five points of articulation, they ship their finds to gather points on the east coast. Sweat shops there do the "cleaning" and "dressing" then they are boxed up and shipped through back channels to a warehouse in the mid west.

When Reis needs them he posts a video blog and gives the signal... usual something like adjust some goofy headwear or goggles. The items are then routed through Los Angeles, processed and delivered to a back room at a coffee shop in Seattle were he knows the owner, a cup of coffee and a payoff and he takes his goods home to add to his collection.

Chunky B- Just like in Detective Comics Bat Hound!
Bat Hound- Except in the comics people do not get hurt or beat near to death on an assembly line for not making their quota.
Chunky B- Well, lets take a look...

...Really? They didn't even try. Of course, classic Reis M.O., no cape.

Chunky B- Well, at least this one has a cape...

Chunky B- It Figures...

Chunky B- Whaa? What's this?

Bat Hound- Uh, that's mine, fell out of my Utility Collar... careful that's more than a squeaky toy, it's full of treats too...

Chunky B- So, what do we do now Bat Hound?
Bat Hound- I return to Gotham and fight crime... you take this Reis to school and slaughter his Batman collection.

Chunky B- When will I see you again?
Bat Hound- I will be back around 7:00 AM for my breakfast and brushing.

*No Basset Hound or action figure was hurt in this production, the Basset Hound did get paid in treats for her performance.


Stephen said...

LOL, Bathound is awesome! International smuggling operations? I can't wait to see what crazy adventure he'll get into next!

Jason said...

This is great! Bathound should become an ongoing thing. Truly a great piece! Keep it up Chunky!

Super-Duper ToyBox said...

Ha Ha Ha! :D
That's a riot!

LEon said...

Bathound rules. LOL I think his nails are quite long. :P

Reis O'Brien said...

This is nothing more than a shameful collection of lies! My opponent is clearly trying to garner support from the blog community in hopes that sympathy will help him win this competition. So it's a good thing that the NUMBERS ALONE WILL DECIDE!

And how dare you, sir, accuse me of using inferior Bat-figures in my collection.

And how dare you intercept one of my shipments... er... I mean... I've never seen that box before in my life.

Your hurtful and slanderous accusations are nothing but a transparent attempt to vilify a worthy opponent.

And who is this alleged Bat-Hound anyway? He seems to quite closely resemble the VERY SAME BASSET HOUND WHICH YOU OWN! Could Bat-Hound actually be your very own pet? If so, a flagrant conflict of interest is astonishingly apparent! Of course this "Bat-Hound" is going to side with you and even assist you in your tawdry attempts of false accusation.

No matter. This Friday will decide the true and final outcome.

Good day to you, sir.


Kal said...

That is too funny. Bat Hound don't play. I never thought Reis would pad his bat collection with inferior bat figures. I look forward to watching this story play out.

Bubbashelby said...

This is the best thing on the internet*

*that I can look at while at work.

jboypacman said...

Its a nice safe feeling knowing that Bat-Hound is on the case.

Brian Ashmore said...

Ha! Hilarious post.

Reis, I do hope your bootlegs are better than what's been presented here today. :)

Two more days!!!.... (rubs hands in anticipation)

Mario! said...

I'm glad Bat-Hound is on the case!

Brian B said...

Bathound Rocks!

I love his chew toy.
Looking forward to the smack down!